Tabasco inflamatione
by camille-love-cat
Summary: In short, Sanji gets hurt because of Usopp's new deadly Tabasco Stars. No one knows that it's Usopp's fault and it's driving him insane. What to do? Apologizing means admitting and the marksman's too much of a coward to do that. Or is he?
1. The prelude

It started with a "upgrade my staff for me, would you?"

Usopp had been working all day on Nami's staff and when he gave her back, the smile on her face told him that his debt had been reduced somewhat. Now, in the dark of the men's quarters, the sniper was left wondering if there was some improvement he could make in his own arsenal. He was laying in his hammock and rocking it slightly with his foot. The movement helped him think. He could work on Kabuto, or try to create a Pop Green possibly more powerful than the others. Last time he tried, it didn't end well. Franky made him swore to do it in an open-air location next time. He couldn't complain. After all, he did blow up the factory.

By thinking about his weapons and his plants, his mind drifted to herbs, spices, and then to Sanji's cooking. He had prepared a grandiose dinner tonight -a "galantine" as he said, something with turkey-, and Usopp could not help but lick his lips with the memory. He was sure the last island they landed on had spices of some sort, but he couldn't remember what their speciality was. Were they extra-spicy or something? The sauce Sanji used was delicious, and Usopp made sure to pour a generous part on his plate. As usual, the girls had had their own special sauce but he didn't mind, he loved spicy stuff.

This is when the sniper noticed that he wasn't thinking about his upgrades anymore, but his inattention gave him an idea. What about upgrading his Tabasco stars? He kind of forgot about them during those two years and he could use some of the super spicy stuff they got on the last island to recreate them. That Tatababasco from the Tontatta Kingdom would be perfect. Sanji would grumble but he would let him use them. He was a nice guy, and he would understand that it could benefit the crew in the end.

Smiling instantly, he closed his eyes and stopped rocking himself. Tomorrow's program was planned. If no pirate or marine came to stop them, he could improve his arsenal and have new ammunition to fight with in the future. He couldn't see how this plan could backfire. Dreaming idly about incredible battles he would easily win with this, Usopp was asleep in mere seconds.

He was now sure of one thing: Sanji was not a nice guy.

Right after waking up -Usopp was one of the last to wake up this time-, the sniper had gone to the kitchen for breakfast and, between two pieces of toast, he had _suggested_ his idea to the cook. Well, ok, maybe he should have asked without spitting crumbs of bread everywhere, but that didn't justify being ejected from the kitchen by angry kicks in the butt!

Usopp was not taking it well. He was fuming and swearing and god knows how badly he wanted to beat up the cook -or to have Zoro beat up the cook-. Who the hell did he think he was? He hasn't even asked for much! He hasn't asked at all in fact! He just faintly whispered the idea that maybe someday he might have to perhaps use a very few of Sanji's spices and wha-bam! He had his ass whooped interdimensionally.

Alright. Sanji had left him no choice. If the cook wouldn't let him borrow spices, he would have to _steaaaal them_!

"Usopp you're scaring me!" Chopper whimpered at the sight of Usopp's scary face.

"Ah... Chopper! Sorry! Hum.. Since when are you here?" Usopp noticed that the small reindeer had tears at the corner of his eyes. He wondered if his scary face was really _that_ frightening or if it was enhanced by the sweet _sweet_ idea of revenge.

"You asked me to come..."

_Oh right, I almost forgot_.

"Yes, Chopper, I need some of your strongest medicine. Some Tinyatoxin would be great, although I'd prefer some Resiniferatoxin. But I also wanted..."

The doctor's eyes widened. His mouth was agape and he looked absolutely terrified. He interrupted Usopp with a shrill cry :

"Usopp! Those are dangerous chemicals! You could hurt yourself only by touching them! I can't let you use them!"

"Come on Chopper, I really need them! Plus, you never use that stuff, none of us ever need medicine so strong. What do you say? We could make all the enemies bow in front of us!"

"Well, yeah but..." That argument seemed to convince Chopper. "I still don't want you to handle them yourself..."

"Then what about you stay with me while I'm crafting my new Pepper Stars? You could keep your eye on your medicine AND watch me work at the same time! It'll be super awesome, I could show you how I make my stuff."

"Woah! I mean... I already know how to create those. I have my Rumble Balls and all."

Yep. His furry friend was definitely interested. He was wriggling and staring at the floor, but the way he was trying to keep his smile off his face was giving him away. Usopp played along.

"But I'll be so lonely if you don't want to help me. Guess I'll have to ask Luffy to give me a hand this time. Without your special attention, I hope that nothing will explode."

"No, wait! I'll help! I'll come with the chemicals."

"Really?" Usopp asked, with real joy and relief in his voice.

"Yeah, for sure! Don't forget to warn me 'bout when you do it and I'll help! Bye Usopp!"

He waved at his friend before leaving. He seemed to be in a good mood. Usopp was also quite happy with himself. With Chopper's collaboration, his plan to upgrade his arsenal was going rather smoothly. But he still needed the spice that Sanji was keeping away from him. Even though it was certainly less powerful than Chopper's chemicals, it was necessary to his recipe.

A devilish frown returned to his face. Tomorrow night would be the night of the crime. Tomorrow, he would steal those spices.


	2. The Night of the Crime

Nighttime. Finally.

Usopp's day had been filled with an anxious impatience towards the night that would come, mainly because Sanji had kept a close eye on him. Or was that just paranoia speaking? He could never tell them apart. Usopp had stayed in the kitchen most of the day. To know where the cook had locked the spices, he had observed Sanji all day long. At first, the cook had scoffed about "one of the troublemakers" staying in the kitchen, away from the joyful events happening outside, and Usopp had shied away at the idea of being discovered even before attempting to steal something. So he had made a poor excuse about needing some time in silence and Sanji had immediately answered with... nothing. A strange but appeasing silence. Was that Sanji's way of being nice to him?

Now it was dark outside, and he was walking like a thief in the night –well, he _was_ a thief in the night- while everyone else was asleep. He passed through the men's quarter rather easily. If someone had woken up, he would have said that he needed a pee break. It wasn't very chic but it was effective enough. He opened the door leading to the deck and it creaked. Usopp froze, not because of the cold night air, but because he knew some of his nakamas had wonderful sharp earing senses. He couldn't deal with a Zoro or even a Chopper asking questions. His excursion was still on the hold. However, no one seemed to have been heard the sound. The night stayed deadly silent. Perfect.

He closed the door behind him and when he turned back, his heart stopped. He hardly muffled a scream. A dark figure was underlined by the moonlight. Tall, skinny, straight from a horror movie. Usopp's knees failed him. He fell on the ground and backed off crawling until the door stopped him. His back made a heavy muffled sound when it collided with the wood.

"Ahsjdejnfesk !" Usopp wasn't able to make understandable sentences anymore.

"Long Nose-kun, please calm down." The figure said.

Slender arms appeared from the wall and circled Usopp's torso. Usopp's breath came in rags for a moment before calming down to a more acceptable rhythm.

"Ro... Robin?"

The archaeologist smiled, and her devilish grin made Usopp shiver once more, as it was one of the only things he could see of her in the night. That, and her eyes sparkling with slyness. After all those years, it was still not a pleasant experience to find yourself in a compromising situation with Robin.

"Long-nose-kun, what are you doing here... Alone... In the night...?" Her words were as heavy as if she was claiming evidence and not looking for an answer. Which she was, obviously.

"I.. I am... Pee break?" Well, he had tried at least.

Robin raised an eyebrow. She did not believe him a word of it. Usopp knew that he couldn't escape her until he told so truth. He abdicated.

"Alright... I was going to the kitchen."

"What for?"

"I need to... hum... _get _the spices from the last island. It's my Tabasco Stars. I want to make better ones..."

He was feeling like he had been caught the hand in the cookie jar. Robin came in the light. She was wearing her usual clothes. Usopp was glad she wasn't in her pyjamas.

"Sanji said yes." He added at the last second.

"Be careful, long-nose-kun. We know you're on the hunt tonight. If anything goes wrong, it will be your mistake only."

That being said, she disappeared, leaving a bewildered sniper behind. He stayed powerless for a second before regaining control of his body. Alright, nothing to worry about. Robin knows, but it's fine because she would not tell anybody. At least, not until something went wrong.

He entered the kitchen easily and went straight to the spice rack. Sanji wasn't locking it up, because who would steal spices? Even Luffy wasn't interested in them. Yet he couldn't find the spices he was looking for. There was everything from cumin to sugar, but no trace of anything useful. Usopp left the rack with a grumble and headed towards the shelves, then the cabinets, then the drawers, everything was scrutinized with intense energy, but he found nothing. Deceived, he decided that his excursion was a fail and that it was time to go back to sleep. That's when he felt it. A gulp of air and a cold feeling on his neck. He lifted his hand to touch it and his fingers bumped into the cold blade of a katana.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!"

"Oh, Usopp. It's just you. I almost cut you in half."

"What do you mean 'almost'?!"

Usopp turned around. Zoro was standing behind him in a fighting position. He stored away his katanas before taking down the one that was in his mouth.

"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Zoro asked. "You should be more careful, I thought you were an intruder."

"I could ask you the same thing! Geez, does nobody sleeps here at night? And it's our ship I can be wherever the hell I want! It's you who should be more careful."

"Hey, I'm on guard duty. And you're not supposed to sneak around at night. What's going on in this are you planning?"

"I.. I am... Pee-break?" That sounded awful. He should really start to learn how to lie better to his nakamas. Wait, that didn't sound right...

Zoro didn't believe him anyway. He raised an eyebrow and his hand went back to his swords slowly.

"Nonononono ! I mean... Uh, how do I say this? I need Sanji's spices to-"

"Oh! So you want to steal them?"

A smile was now decorating Zoro's face. Usopp honestly didn't know what was the scariest. Swords or smile?

"No, I just need to borrow them for a while and then I'll give them back."

"Yeah, sure. Come with me, I'll help you."

"I never asked for your help!"

But Zoro wasn't listening. Without waiting for Usopp to follow, he turned back to the shelves and started rummaging behind the pasta. Was he trying to help him? Though his help wasn't very... effective. Usopp had already looked for them everywhere. They _couldn't be_ in the kitchen. Well, at least the swordsman wasn't warning Sanji about his expedition so that was a plus. And he was also being strangely helpful, and Usopp appreciated it. Zoro wasn't fit to be a ninja. With each of his heavy movements, his swords clattered against each other and his foot stomped on the ground carelessly; not the best when you were trying to be discreet. Zoro uncovered a hidden stash of booze. Obviously, he was looking for something to drink. He was handling carefully the bottles so that they did not clang into one another, and thus made no sound while rummaging his part of the kitchen. Usopp brushed it off and tried to tell Zoro that this wasn't what he was looking for.

However, before he could even open his mouth, Zoro called him.

"There! It's this bottle!"

He got up and offered a bottle to Usopp. It was a wine bottle from a renowned brand. Usopp looked at it confused. Why was Zoro giving him this?

"I'm not looking for booze, Zoro."

"Yeah, but _I_ was. Yesterday." The swordsman explained. "I tried to drink this but -_Zoro stuck out his tongue in disgust and made a face_\- instead of finding booze I had to run to the sink! Damn curlybrow and his stupid ideas. Why?"

Usopp didn't really understand what Zoro said but after taking a closer look at the bottle, he guessed what had happened. Instead of wine, there were the spices Sanji was guarding so carefully. Zoro must have tried to take a drink of the bottle without watching. Usopp felt a smirk forming and was quick to suppress it. He didn't want Zoro to feel like he was making fun of him.

"Thanks, Zoro."

"Yeah. If there's anything I can do to annoy the cook..."

He raised his hand as if to say "call me" and Usopp responded with a surprise nod. He put his attention back on the bottle. He only had to take a small amount of them. After all, they were very powerful themselves. Suddenly, Usopp got curious, and he couldn't help himself but ask.

"Eeeeh, Zoro? How did they taste?"

Zoro, who was on his way out, turned around and stared at the marksman.

"You want to try them?"

"What? No! No, I'm not stu-... not interested."

"Don't try them. There's horrible. Nothing tasted right for the whole day. Not that the cook's food is any better usually."

Usopp smiled to himself as Zoro left the room. If they were this powerful by themselves, they would make an excellent baseline for his new Tabasco Stars. It was high time to find them a name too. Power Balls? Curry Cry? Nah...

He took a big enough sample and got out of the room extra carefully. He didn't need any other crewmate finding him awake. After all, he had already be found out by Robin and Zoro. He didn't need to add Luffy or Chopper to the list.


	3. The Spice Complication

Usopp woke up very excited. He ate breakfast with energy. He had to act quickly and to work on his Tabasco Stars right away. Sanji seemed not to have noticed Usopp's theft but he would surely do by the time they had lunch so there was no time to lose. Right after the table was cleaned from its tumultuous breakfast, Usopp gathered his flasks and his test tubes and spread them everywhere. Chopper brought the chemicals and sat next to him. Working outside was a risk that was not worth the taking. With Luffy running around, the price to pay was too high. Chopper and Usopp found solace in the kitchen instead. Sanji was less dangerous than Luffy right now. Usopp had hidden the spices in one of his own bottles, much like Sanji had done -but definitely better, because it was _his_ bottle-.

The cook was still here, washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. It felt like he was monitoring them, but he remained silent, and Usopp know that it was his way of allowing them to work there. Still, Usopp feared that the cook would start making lunch right away and find about the missing spices, so he put himself to work eagerly.

Time passed quickly. Usopp had spent a good chunk of the morning working on stabilizing his formula, helped by Chopper who was hovering around and giving actual viable information. When they finally managed to find a stable solution, they wept with excitement.

However, their happiness was short lived. After creating only two or three Tabasco balls second generation, Luffy-the-storm barreled in.

"Usopp! Chopper! Come out! Brook and Zoro are fencing!"

"What... now?"

Luffy didn't let them the time to be surprised. He was at their side in an instant and made a move to grab the balls. A reflex had Usopp hiding the products from their captain's view but Luffy was too perceptive for that. It even made him more interested.

"What are you doing? What are you hiding? Show me!"

He tried to sneak his way in but each time he came too close to getting one, Usopp smacked his arm away.

"Come oooon, show me!"

"No Luffy! Those are dangerous weapons! Leave them alone!"

"But they look like sweets!"

Usopp had managed to hide the Tabasco Stars in his overalls, but one of them had escaped his monitoring and Luffy was aiming at it. It was true that they looked like sweets. They were very small red balls, and oddly appetizing for Luffy. Chopper trying his best to keep Luffy away, sure, but he was too panicked to be helpful. He was only flapping his arms in the air, yelling warnings in the hope that Luffy would stop. Despite giving their best, Luffy got the best of them and grabbed one in a moment of inattention.

"Got it!"

"Luffy!"

They were making quite a racket already, but when Luffy snagged one, Usopp pounced on him and tackled the elastic boy on the table. Luffy giggled happily. They rolled around. The vials tinkled but Usopp finally managed to take his weapon back. Stubborn as he was, Luffy wasn't giving up. He was about to yell his war cry and jump on Usopp when Sanji's voice startled them all.

"Oi! Would you knuckleheads take this somewhere else? I'm trying to cook here!" Sanji yelled.

"Sorry Sanji!" Luffy apologized with a big smile.

In a fraction of time, a lot happened. Sanji's voice startled Usopp, who loosened his grip on the Tabasco Ball. Luffy managed to bump into Usopp's arm, sending the Tabasco Star flying through the kitchen. The cook turned to take a look at the idiots he was talking too, and he completely missed the ball bouncing on the fridge, rolling on some pans and landing in the pot he was stirring a few seconds before.

The Tabasco Star had just fallen into Sanji's cooking pot... and Usopp was the only witness.

He had been the only one worried enough to follow the ball with his eyes and to understand the situation when the Tabasco Star had landed in the worst place possible. Wasting no time, the cook took a spoon to sample and Usopp couldn't warn him soon enough. Usopp broke free from Luffy's hold but, before he could speak up, _it_ happened, the thing he had been afraid of.

"Sanji, don't-!"

Sanji drank on the spoon and went still almost instantly. For a brief second, Usopp dared to hope. Maybe his formula wasn't as effective as they thought, maybe Sanji was just reacting to something in his recipe. Maybe he hadn't seen the round ball of death falling down into Sanji's pot and spoiling what was in it. Chopper and Luffy were watching the cook warily, aware that something strange was happening, but then Sanji bent down on the sink and spat out. When he straightened again, hands clutching at his throat, a gigantic flash of fire escaped his lips.

"SANJI!" Chopper yelled.

Sanji had turned to the fridge and was gulping down milk, but that did not seem to help. He bent down, hacked up all the milk, and suddenly there was Luffy and Chopper at his sides, both unaware of the situation but still very eager to help. Usopp couldn't move. In fact, yes, he could, but he shouldn't. The worst had already been done because of him. Seconds later, Chopper was dragging Sanji to the infirmary, and Usopp got pushed to the side. Dread was creeping up on him. It was his fault that Sanji was going to the infirmary, it was his Tabasco star that had Sanji spitting fire.

He was moving on autopilot now. He put away his stuff abruptly and got out on the deck. Everyone was gathered there, studying the door strangely. They had obviously heard something, and they were now waiting for an explanation. Usopp opened his mouth to speak but... he couldn't. Only a few seconds later, before he could embarrass himself more, Luffy was ejected from the infirmary and had gathered everyone around to tell them what had happened. But Luffy didn't know the truth. He didn't know the whole story. Only Usopp knew. Him, and two pair of eyes that got more and more interested in the marksman as the story was related.


	4. Take your Time to Adapt

Dinner came, and everyone gathered in the kitchen around the table. By now, everyone knew about the story and they were waiting for Chopper's prognostic. Usopp was still shaken, but his odd behaviour was mostly ignored. His nakamas were chatting between them. Usopp was seated silently, only bothered by the same two pair of eyes that had watched him so carefully earlier. The swordsman and the historian. Sooner or later, they'd want to have a word with him. Especially Zoro. Although their stares did not last very long. Chopper was stepping out of the infirmary.

The doctor stood up on a seat at the end of the table. His eyes were stuck on the wood. When he spoke, his voice was deep.

"Sanji is... gonna stay in the infirmary for a while."

"...What's the damage?" Nami asked.

"His taste buds are strongly damaged..."

A general gasp was heard. Usopp was too busy with shrinking down to watch how the others reacted. The only time he raised his head was to find Zoro glaring daggers at him, arms crossed, leaned back on his chair.

"Don't worry!" Chopper added fast. "I've got something that can help him. He will get better! This is not permanent."

"But how long will he stay like this?" Franky asked seriously.

It was strange to have the crew asking such serious questions. Looking around the table, Usopp could see that they were all very concerned about the topic.

"Not long if he follows my instructions. No smoking and no speaking for a while. He has a small fever that should be gone tomorrow. He also coughs a lot and he can't talk right now."

"What do you mean he can't talk?!" Usopp almost yelled.

The marksman had startled himself by asking this question. Sanji's situation was holding him at heart, but fear had him close his mouth before.

"As I said, it's temporary, but he will be silent for a while. He can't talk right now, but I am very hopeful. He has a good response to my cure."

The conversation fell into a low murmur as everyone started talking to each other again. Most of them were panicking. Luffy seemed to be the most involved. He had jumped on the table and was spraying Chopper with questions. Chopper answered positively to most of them, keeping to his original instructions of no cooking, no smoking and no talking for a week.

Seemed like Lady Luck was against Sanji this time.

Usopp's lame joke didn't even make him smile.

No one really knew what went down in the kitchen, meaning that no one knew Usopp was the real culprit. Usopp was safe, and guilt was eating him up from the inside. Now, it was true that Zoro and Robin knew about him stealing the spices. And Chopper might correlate the data between Sanji's accident and his own medicine. _And_ Sanji might find out that his cooking had nothing to do with his burn... _BUT_ no one knew about his Tabasco Star and the part Usopp had played, right? At least he had this going for him. It was an _accident_. It's not like he had done it on purpose. _RIGHT?_

He waited for a while before slowly getting up and walking out of the kitchen. It was not doing him any good to hang around so much anxiety.

The day went by, and Usopp felt no better. Sanji stayed in the infirmary until midday then got out and started swirling around the girls as if nothing had ever happened.

That evening, Usopp found that his plate had more mushroom in it than usual. His eyes met Sanji's warily, but the cook turned away before anything could happen. Sanji was focused on the girls and on his meal. Nothing could disturb him. The cook had his own cup, something liquid made especially for him. He drank it intermittently. Usopp couldn't stand to look at him and started working on his plate. He had to eat those mushrooms somehow.

With Sanji acting normally, the whole group gradually overlooked his demise and started chatting more and more actively. The only thing missing was the cook's addition to the party, with his loving tirades and his angered yells towards the swordsman.

At the end of the meal, Usopp didn't know what to do. He stayed inside and tried to help with the dishes, but found that he couldn't move from his chair. He wanted to help but he couldn't stand staying too close to Sanji without having apologized first. Even staying in the same room as the cook was starting to feel like an illness. The I-am-too-guilty-to-do-the-right-thing illness... He felt like a loser, not able to properly apologise.

He had decided on getting up and leaving when Robin sat next to him. She waited for Sanji to bring her a cup of coffee and thanked him quietly. Sanji put his hands on his heart and melted on the ground. He got up easily and sent some hearts flying in the air before going back to his dishes. During the whole exchange, he had managed not to cast a single glance at Usopp. Now the sniper was sure of it: Sanji was mad at him.

"Robin?" Usopp asked quietly.

The archaeologist looked at him. The room was so silent that Usopp was afraid to disturb the calm with a mere breathe.

"Robin I have a question."

She didn't answer. She kept looking at him with an indecipherable expression. Was she ignoring him too? That wasn't her style. Usopp was getting more anxious by the second. He started fidgeting on his seat. If Robin would only make a sound, he would know what to ask her. If Sanji would only make a sound, he would know what to tell him...

"Come on please, Robin. I need to know if-..."

He was about to ask about Sanji; if she knew why his behaviour was more than edgy around him, but Robin cut him before he could ask.

"We are enjoying some quiet time together." She said silently. "It is too early to talk."

Usopp closed his mouth and looked at her. She was being cryptic again, but her two-way answer calmed him down somehow. She had a reassuring presence when she wanted. Now that he was a bit more relaxed, he could feel that the atmosphere was not as tense as he had first thought. Sanji was doing his things in the kitchen, Robin was drinking with a book in her hands, and an appeasing calm had fallen over the kitchen. Sanji was doing the least possible noise and a dim ray of sunshine was falling on the table. The ship was swaying leisurely and a faint noise was coming from outside. It was so calm that Usopp almost closed his eyes.

It was only when the cook turned around to look at Robin that they inadvertently made eye contact. At this instant, Usopp was overcome by his own emotions and understood that he was not welcome. He had a growing feeling that he needed to be somewhere else so, without a second doubt, he got up and left.

Walking out, Usopp could not help but think about Robin's words. Was she trying to tell him to keep his distance for a while? It seemed that way. Her answers were always so cryptic. He decided to seek advice from their doctor. He walked in the infirmary to find the reindeer working on some kind of medicine. The floor gave out his position with a squeak and Chopper looked up.

"Usopp!" He said hastily. "Why are you coming here, are you hurt somewhere?"

"No, I'm fine."

"That's unusual," Chopper chuckled, but the mood vanished when Usopp answered with a mere chuckle. The doctor suddenly looked very sympathetic and made way for Usopp to sit on the bed, next to the table.

"I'm not ill, Chopper."

"Then there's something else. Can you tell me?"

"It's uh..."

He tried to get the right formula, tried to get words out, but didn't know what to say without giving himself away. He looked at Chopper's eyes, round and trustful, and he decided to take his courage in his hands.

"Does Sanji hates me? He's so distant."

Chopper immediately went into motion. He got up on the bed and sat next to Usopp, with a much more professional demeanour.

"No, Sanji doesn't hate you. Why would he? He's just dealing with things his own way. He's edgy around me too."

Usopp had a hard time believing that anyone would be edgy around Chopper, but the doctor was doing his best. He was glad that the cook wasn't mad at him but in the end, what he was truly hoping for was not something Chopper could tell him. Chopper might have already guessed anyway. He was the doctor after all; he could guess things on his own, especially if it was about his own medicine ending up in someone's throat.

"Sanji will come around." Chopper soothed him, gently tapping on his back. "Then you two can talk."

"Yeah. Okay."

Usopp gave him a weak smile and thanked him. He left the infirmary with a firm resolution: He needed to get things done, things that wouldn't remind him that he had put a friend's life on the game.


	5. Let's turn the tables

The next day, Usopp was sleepily wandering on the deck when Zoro came out of nowhere to drag him in a dark corner behind the aquarium. The swordsman grabbed his overalls and lifted the sniper, startling him at the same time. It was so sudden; Usopp couldn't help but let out a manly squeak when he felt his feet being lifted from the ground. Zoro's voice boomed in his ear.

"You! Get your shit together!"

"Wha-what?!" Usopp stuttered.

"You've got to get your shit together and clean the mess you made."

"H-How?"

"Don't know. Don't care. Fix this!"

Zoro seemed conflicted between many emotions, anger and worry being the two main ones, but he made his mind and released Usopp. The marksman felt the ground under his feet and took a moment to compose himself.

So... Zoro knew. Not such a surprise after all.

When Usopp decided to leave the room, Zoro was leaned on the railing, eyeing him heatedly. Usopp walked away and found himself on the path to the kitchen. When he walked in, Zoro's stare was still fixed on his back.

.

There was no one in the kitchen but him and Sanji. The cook turned around briefly to see who was coming in and went back to work without a sign. Usopp briefly wondered if Sanji was now more open to talking or not. It seemed like the cook could still use some time to defuse. But the sooner he spoke to Sanji, the sooner this tensed atmosphere would disappear. Usopp approached the chef.

"Hey, Sanji."

The cook shoved his head to the side in a welcoming nod. Usopp remembered Chopper saying that Sanji's voice was really bad and that he shouldn't talk. It filled Usopp with determination.

"Do you need help with anything... maybe?"

Sanji shook his head no.

"Can I take a seat?"

This time, Sanji shrugged. Usually, Usopp was really good at playing charade but it was hard to decipher whether Sanji was being tired or mad. Usopp took the closest seat possible and watched Sanji working. He was doing some cleaning in a kitchen that was already too clean to live in. Usopp was mesmerized by Sanji's hands. It was always so appealing to watch the cook. His movements were fluid and swift. Sanji knew what he was doing.

Usopp raised his head to find Sanji looking at him, waiting for something. Their eyes met for the first time in a while. Surprisingly, there was nothing malicious in Sanji's glance. It was the same tired-looking gaze as ever. Usopp knew that he had to speak up.

"Are you not fighting with Zoro anymore?"

Sanji broke the trance with no other reaction whatsoever. Usopp carried on.

"I noticed that he was trying to get into a fight this morning. You didn't seem too energized by the idea."

Sanji tsked in a breath. Usopp deflated. Sanji's irritation had taken all his energy out of him. He felt the overwhelming urge to leave, and that's what he did.

"Okay so... See you later."

Sanji raised a spoon this time, too focused to wave him goodbye. Right before Usopp left the kitchen, he took a look at Sanji and saw him hunched up above the sink. Without a word, he closed the door. Outside, he felt Zoro's eyes set on him again, and decided to take refuge in his workshop.

.

The days went by, and Usopp seemed to be always very busy. He hung out in the kitchen from time to time but he was never alone with the cook. He was not the only one paying him regular visits anyway. Luffy, Chopper, Nami... Even Zoro passed more time than usual with the cook. Luffy was calmer -if you could call that calmer-, and Nami didn't take _too much _advantage of Sanji's... personality. Brook sometimes came inside to play but he never asked to see any panties, so that the cook didn't have to yell at him and kick him out.

Sanji was still ignoring him and Zoro was still staring daggers at him but except for those two occurrences, Usopp noticed things starting to go back to normal. The cook spoke more and more. It had started with small words in a croaked voice, which Zoro still refers to as "the frog period". This only urged Sanji to speak up. Chopper was on a never-ending quest to get Sanji to rest his voice but the cook was all too preoccupied about yelling at the swordsman to listen to him -which, in a way, meant that he was doing fine-. On his side, Usopp listened a lot, spoke rarely. It felt like he was speaking even less than the cook himself these days.

.

Sanji was avoiding him, Usopp knew so much. He had to address the problem soon but he had lost all his courage those few days ago when Sanji had been so annoyed at him. Today, however, he had decided to try something. He sat on the table, got up awkwardly. He watched Sanji cook without moving an inch. The chief was making some pies for dinner. Usopp found himself genuinely interested.

Sanji cooked like Usopp worked: like a professional. He was taking the ingredients one by one and mixing them with energy. From afar, it looked like one of his formulas. You had to be close to notice the heart that Sanji was pouring into his cooking. The eagerness, the foresight, the touch of fantasy, the love, the dread and the doubt.

From Usopp's seat, you could only see a blur of movements.

Usopp stood closer without noticing it and he only stopped when Sanji turned to look at him. Usopp promptly began to panic.

"Ah! Sorry! I'm in the way, right?"

Sanji raised his eyebrow questioningly. Usopp didn't seem to understand and Sanji had to use his voice. "Need something?"

Usopp finally decided to stand back, after noticing that he was too close for comfort -Sanji was inching back just a bit.

"Hum, no I... Just like to see you cooking."

The chef visibly relaxed and hesitantly went back to his work. He was used to people peering over his shoulder –those people being Luffy-.

"You really know what you're doing, eh?"

Surprised by his own statement, Usopp started rambling. He didn't look at Sanji.

"Are you planning everything in advance or do you improvise? I know that you know your recipes by heart but I was wondering what was motivating you? Maybe?"

Sanji didn't answer immediately. Instead, he looked past Usopp and lifted his hand.

"oon?"

Usopp wasn't listening. The only thing he heard was the end of the word.

"Sorry?"

"Spo~oon."

Sanji pointed at a drawer further away. Usopp took a second glance at it before realising that Sanji needed something inside. He jerked to life and opened it. There were many strange tools inside and Usopp took a random spoon out of it.

"Uh... This one?"

Sanji grabbed it and kept on cooking. Usopp sighed in relief.

"Test."

Usopp was understanding less and less by the second. He leaned closer. The cook rolled his eyes and pulled up the spoon to push it in his hands. He spoke slowly and deliberately.

"_T-a-s-t-e!_"

Ooooh, alright. Taste. Stupid him. Sanji still couldn't taste right. Usopp took the spoon, blew a bit on it and tasted its content.

It was incredible. Thick and light. There are no words to describe it. Even if it was hot as hell, Usopp knew that their crew had been blessed by the best cook in whole Grand Line. He opened his eyes, not knowing when he had closed them. Sanji was looking at him with interest.

"T'is good?" Usopp muttered ungracefully.

Sanji frowned and made a repetitive movement with his hand.

"I don't know it lacks tomatoes, maybe? I'd add more tomatoes."

Sanji went back to his cooking without a word. He grabbed a tomato and started working on it. Suddenly, Usopp felt the cold shower of the cook's disinterest. He clutched the spoon like it was his only link with reality. He finished it, knowing that Sanji didn't like leftovers, and quickly rinsed it. Then he leaned on the counter to watch Sanji adding the tomato to the stew. They really were lucky to have home-made appetizers pies.

Suddenly, Sanji turned around and almost bumped into Usopp. He frowned. The sniper knew that this time, there was no excuse. They both stopped in their tracks. It was awkward.

"Oh, uh, sorry, I'll... I'll come back later."

Usopp walked out. He didn't come back later.

.

Usopp found himself wandering aimlessly until the next day. He was starting to get used to being on constant dead threat -Zoro, remember?. He kept trying to occupy himself, but he was too fidgety to stay put. It seemed like he couldn't stand still those days. Thankfully, the crew didn't notice. He couldn't work but he could not just stay put. Everything reminded him of the failure that was the Tabasco Stars. Thankfully, there was one activity that had never let him down: fishing. Or at least, it had never let him down... until this morning.


	6. Voicing Out your Thoughts

There was a place at the back of the ship that was usually empty. Usopp decided that he would fish there. Fishing was always funnier with more people around, but tonight he wanted to spend some time in peace.

And, of course, his plan backfired horribly.

When Usopp opened the door that led outside, he saw the tall blond chef, alone and facing the sea. Sanji was deep in thoughts. He was resting against the railing and smoking a cigarette dismissively. When he heard the door, he turned around with a jolt. His hand was ready to take the cigarette out of his mouth, but he stopped himself when he saw that the threatening sound was Usopp and not Chopper as he expected. He relaxed and turned his attention back to the distance. On his part, Usopp stopped dead in his tracks.

"I thought you weren't supposed to smoke?"

Sanji gave him the finger.

"Okay, fair enough... I suppose."

Neither of them moved for a while. Usopp closed the door awkwardly and slowly walked to the railing. Sanji kept on smoking, not bothered by his presence at all. Although after a moment, the cook turned his head toward him with the clear intention to start a conversation. Usopp made an alien sound that could be interpreted as a sign that he was listening.

"Nieh?"

"Whatta you doin' here?" Sanji's voice was better than before, but he still sounded like a dying frog.

"I... I came here to fish but I can go somewhere else if you want?"

Sanji said nothing more and blew out some smoke in the wind. Usopp hesitated. What sounded like an invitation to talk now felt like Sanji's cold wrath. He felt a shiver run down his spine. Sanji's words pricked at his skin. There was no indication whether Sanji was welcoming his presence or not. Usopp's resolve to end this situation only grew more. They couldn't stay like this forever. One day, they would have to talk. Sanji _obviously knew_ about Usopp's contribution in his current situation. It was not like he could have hurt himself accidentally, he knew his recipes by heart. He was an expert. But then, he must have made the link between Usopp asking about the spices the day before, and his current situation.

Usopp looked over awkwardly at Sanji, before deciding to sit cross-legged on the wood and to prepare his fishing rod. It was keeping his hands busy. He managed to put the bait on the hook –his nervousness made his hands really sweaty- and threw his line in the sea. Then, he waited.

Sanji finished his cigarette early and threw the butt away with a snap. Usopp watched it fall in the sea and briefly wondered what kind of harm it would do the fishes.

Time passed, and the cook was not leaving. Usopp could feel his presence on his side. He frowned, waiting for a fish to bite, but the sea was quieter than their conversation. Why was the cook staying? Was he waiting for something? Usopp had enough waiting with no answer in sight. He reeled up the line and excused himself. Running away had always done him good.

"Well, it's not biting so I'll… come back later."

He got up, grabbed the rest of his stuff hastily and prepared to leave. Fishing was a stupid idea in the first place. Thought before he got away, he was stopped by the cook.

"Don't."

Sanji spoke low, with a deep and irregular voice. Usopp obeyed immediately.

"What do you want me to do?" Usopp's voice quivered. It was weird than Sanji's voice was steadier than his.

"Guess."

"Guess? I don't know I… I can't!"

He started trampling and Sanji's hand unconsciously wandered to his cigarettes, before the blond chef caught himself in the act and stopped his hand. He remembered Chopper's recommendations and he did not want to make this situation linger.

"I can't make it up to you, I know I messed up bad!" Usopp said. "I know you'll get your voice back, but still! Who knows what kind of shitty damage I could have done with my stupid idea?"

His words were burning but his body managed to douse him with a creeping cold dread. Curse his dumb stress. This time, he couldn't run away or let the conversation die. It was now, the moment he had been preparing for: a decent goddamn excuse. His trampling got wider and his voice louder, but there was no one around to judge him. Except for the cook, but Sanji was keeping his mouth shut. He was eyeing Usopp with a softer look now, but the other man couldn't see that. Usopp was actively trying to avoid looking in Sanji's direction.

You weren't even okay with me taking your spices, and yet I did. What can I do to make you feel better? Should I massage your shoulders? Do I... Do I have to build you something to help in the kitchen? I don't know. _Please_ tell me anything! Sanji I'm…"

He lost his voice for a moment and stopped walking. He was looking at his feet.

"I'm so sorry… You shouldn't be in this situation. It's my fault if the Tabasco Ball fell in your pot. I should have been more careful with a deadly weapon around Luffy."

"So… That's your apology?" Sanji asked.

Usopp dared to raise his head. The cook was eyeing him on the side, eyes plissés and a mysterious smirk on his lips.

"Of course! And I'm dead serious!" Usopp squealed. "Although I'd prefer not to be dead at all. I'm really sorry Sanji, about stealing your spices, burning your throat... I didn't want anything bad happening to you but it still did."

A small smile flashed on Sanji's lips and was gone in a blind. Usopp stood still, wondering if he had dreamed about it. The cook turned his back to him and took a deep breath. It felt like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind and stayed silent. Sanji sighed and fished a cigarette out of his pocket. Usopp, with his fishing rod and his still-wriggling bait on the hook, was left wondering.

The day passed and Sanji seemed to be in a better mood. Everything seemed to be back to normal. The marines that had the audacity to chuckle at the sound of his voice were now swimming with the fish.

This evening, Robin found Sanji preparing the diner joyfully. He was setting the table when she entered and immediately covered her with hearts.

"Robin-chwaaan! My love! What are you doing here so early? Dinner is not ready yet!"

There was only a small tremble in his voice now. Nothing he couldn't handle. Robin did her best to ignore his overflowing love and stood proud next under the hatch that led outside. She looked up a second before speaking up.

"How long are you planning to keep playing with him?"

"My sweet, sweet Robin, I'll do whatever you tell me to. Should I stop?"

A malicious grin was spreading across his face. His expression managed to make Robin chuckle to herself. Their chef was sly as a fox when he wanted to. Still, she was glad to know they were on the same page.

"It is your decision, but in my mind, it would be better not to let the situation linger."

Robin was glad that Sanji was seeing this on the bright side, but he had to understand the seriousness of the situation. Usopp was really bothered by the whole affair. Robin sat on the stool calmly, waiting for an answer. Sanji wandered pensively, his mind divided between his cooking and his obligation to answer the lovely archaeologist.

"He is taking this way too seriously. It was an accident."

Robin looked up again. She usually liked it when she could talk to the cook without him making too much fuss, but this time she was really trying to get a point across. Her expression hardened and her next words came out sharper.

"Since you knew he was going to steal those spices, you could have locked the cabinet or move them somewhere else. You didn't. So now tell me, how long are you planning to keep him in the dark? He is waiting for _you_ to move, now."

Sanji gave her her coffee and shrugged. He had a drink himself and took a sip out of it.

"The boy needs to learn his lesson. He's still growing up."

"Certainly, there are better ways to teach him."

The cook shrugged. He put his cup down on the table and went back to work.

"Well, we all have our ways. Someone needs to be the bad guy, I guess this time it has to be me. But don't be worried Robin-chwan, I'm not always like this! 3"

That got a chuckle out of her. The tension lifted and she finally acknowledged the coffee he gave her.

"He still feels bad about what happened."

"Yeah, he said sorry," the cook informed her.

"And?"

Robin's opinion was that, as a grown-up man, Sanji should have been the one making the first move, but it was selfish of her to ask the cook to forgive Usopp in a heartbeat. Humans needed time process their feelings. She would forgive Sanji for not making the first move, as he would surely forgive Usopp for his slip up.

The conversation ended without a fuss. The smoke of Sanji's cooking raised to the roof and escaped through the half-opened hatch where Usopp was laying, hidden from view. The last thing he had thought to interrupt, when he had gotten up to water his plants, was a conversation between Robin and Sanji. Robin knew when he watered his plants, right? Why hadn't she waited for a better time to talk to Sanji? Curious as he was, he hadn't been able to keep himself from eavesdropping. He had no intention to spy on them, but their conversation had started so suddenly that he didn't have time to wonder if what he was doing was good or bad. He heard a sigh and someone turned heels –Sanji-. He was anxiously waiting for Sanji's answer, but it seemed like he was not going to have it. Sanji must have given Robin a shrug, a nod or any kind of silent answer.

Usopp sighed. He leaned back, hands rubbing his leg in a calm movement. So… Did Sanji do all of this purposely? Weird. Whatever. If he didn't want to talk to him again, what was the point? Usopp got up, put his gardening tools back and went away. He just missed Sanji's answer.

However, when he showed up to lunch, he found that his plate was slightly bigger than the others, with everything he liked on it, and no mushroom in sight. Usopp looked at Sanji with surprise.

"Sanji?"

The chef smiled and played pretend. He served a plate to one of their nakamas before taking an innocent look.

"What? You should eat right now or your plate's gonna get cold. Next time, if you have something to say, speak up."

They had found their voices back.


End file.
